My upbringing was quite strict. On numerous occasions I copped soap in the mouth for using bad language and biffs over the head if I stepped out of line (and sometimes when I didn't step out of line).
My cousins were scared of my dad, who was fairly placid, yet when he did have a moment he was loud and that frightened them. They thought their mum's were better than mine because my mum was verbally critical and not very warm or attentive or particularly nice to be around.
Yet their parent were neglectful, not present and often drunk. To them, this faux freedom, was much better than the life I was living. My cousin's mum's were just as verbally critical as my mum yet hardly around, so apparently I'm worth feeling sorry for because my parents were strict and we had rules.
I was bullied at school by a teacher. My mum when to the school and reported him. I was bullied by a boy, my dad reported him to his dad. My cousin's parents never did such things for them - and some were bullied quite heavily. They were not present enough and didn't care enough to go out of their way for their children. Drinking was more important. Neither of my parents drank.
Both my grand parents openly told my mum and dad they liked their children much more than their other grandchildren because their children (us) were well mannered and well behaved, while my cousin's were unruly, spoilt, whining children who cried easily, tantrumed to get what they wanted and didn't use their manners.
Uncles and aunties would straight up tell me I was their favourite because I was down to earth and respectful. Mature for my age. Yet supposedly I'm the one they feel sorry for.
It may seem like strict parents are terrible parents however neglectful parents can do just as much damage, if not more.
Remember your upbringing is most likely how you will raise your own children so if you're not taught how to discipline effectively you can end up repeating the cycle of abuse or neglect.
