Have thoughtful conversations

A conversation started with my children when one asked what beverage they could buy from the school canteen. The choices were fruit juice, soft drink or flavoured milk, and the question was which has the most sugar?  

I had to admit I didn’t have a clue what the correct answer was and I asked my children what they thought was the better option. This got us talking about which beverage is better i.e. the least unhealthy option.

Fruit juice can be made with real fruit and contain natural healthy sugars, though how much fructose is too much I don’t know. Fruit juice can also contain a low percentage of fruit juice and large amounts of water, sugar and flavourings.

Soft drinks are loaded with sugar and artificial colours and flavours. Some soft drinks, such as cola, also contain questionable chemicals (as might other beverages via preservatives and additives).

Flavoured milk is also choc full of sugars and artificial colours and flavours.

Lord of the flies

We had a Lord of The Flies moment here the other weekend when we had a family friendly party, children welcome. The more the merrier...

Activities were set up, paper, stickers, toy tracks, the backyard lit up so children could play outside, a garden to explore, trees to climb, balloons to throw around. I'd talked to my children telling them they were to help look after younger guests, make sure they're having fun and not doing anything they're not allowed (i.e. breaking house rules).

At first children were shy and hiding beside parents then gradually they began to move around and explore. For the most part they were lost in crowds and only a few people went around checking on the children; that is, the more studious adults. Including myself, I went and checked on the children outside a couple of times.

One time one of my children was climbing up a tree to get away from everyone. I wondered what was happening to make them feel this way so I stuck around and watched for a while. A younger girl was also trying to climb up the tree and my child was being rude and disrespectful to her, insisting she stay down and not come near him. She wanted to climb the tree like my child and so on up she went. Nothing seem untoward and I head inside to check on guests.

Later I find my child in their room red faced, in tears and hysterical, saying that the little girl is following them everywhere, the others are annoying them and their nemesis (a relative who doesn't get along with my child & vice versa) was harassing them. I have words with another sibling telling them to go to their upset sibling and look after them. Make sure they're ok and no one bothers them. I leave them in bedroom to calm down.

The next morning when it's quiet I take the time to ask my child exactly what happened after I went inside leaving them to climb the tree.

How strict am I?

Just how strict a parent am I and how do I compare to you and others?  Let's explore that...

My child was told by my partner that they could not go to their friend's after school because they'd been the night before, and my partner felt it was best to at least go every second night. I agreed.

When my partner left for work I reiterated to my child that they needed to come home after school, no going to the friend's house. They asked if the friends could come back to our house and I said that's fine.

Come 5:30pm my child isn't home from school and phones from the friend's house asking if they could stay for dinner. Um... no! You were meant to come home straight after school!

The father of the friend returns my child home and suggests we have pre-organised days where my child can go over such as Tuesdays and Fridays. He said if his child didn't come home he would have been worried. I wasn't worried, I knew where my son was... I was angry! I said it's not about the days so much, although I don't want them going over too often, it's about them deliberately disobeying me.

I thanked the man for dropping my child home, closed the front door and said to my child, "Time for bed, night night, it's not up for discussion, off you go, see ya later.."

They go to bed without dinner and are grounded for the rest of the week (including the weekend).

That's how strict I am.  

It's unlikely my child will disobey us again in this regard. They might try to push other boundaries (this child is a little more rebellious than his siblings) to which I will put my foot down, but it's doubtful they'll do this particular thing again.

How about you? What would you do in this situation? How would handle being blatantly disobeyed?