Both my parents feared speaking up for themselves. They were raised in households where to speak your mind meant punishment (often severe). They were afraid of the consequences any time they spoke up, and as adults they rarely spoke their mind when others offended them (and even regarding feeling nice about people).
One of my parents learned to use words as a weapon, a way to get the message across that they were hurt.
The other quietly thought about how best to react, while coming across as frowning, brooding and angry.
Both found it hard to forgive those that hurt them because they never learned how to talk it through with others. Even then, on a rare occasion of talking it through, they both didn't believe the people's stories and believed the act to be deliberately hurtful. Thus unforgivable.
This is a reoccurring theme in our family. Although I have to say, even as someone who has learned to speak up, it has not resolved our family legacy. You'll have more success if you are speaking with others who have also learned how to communicate their feelings in a non combative manner.