Bribery will get you nowhere

Bribery is kind of a form of discipline, yet by most accounts not a very successful one. If you have to bribe your children to get them to do something you've gone amiss with your parenting. What you want to aim for is rewarding your child/ren.

What is the difference between bribing and rewarding.

Bribery:

You: "Clean your room and I'll give you (insert toy/food/activity/etc)"

Reward:

You: "Can you please clean your room."

When they're done... you: "Thank you for doing that."

You can leave it here because a compliment can be enough of a reward however if you're especially pleased or you're feeling generous you might add, "You've done such a great job, you can have (insert toy/food/activity/etc)"

With bribery the child learns if I don't do what I'm told I'll get something as an incentive and I can up the anti!

With reward the child learns that good things come to those who help out and contribute to the household.

Do you lose your cool with your children all the time?

No.  I don't.

Yes I lose my cool... but often? All the time? With my children? No.

I do have moments of agitation, frustration, stress and annoyance. Still, it's not often that I'm losing my cool. I'm all about keeping my cool as best I can and not yelling; but also setting things up so I don't have to yell (or seldom yell).

I like to explain things in simple terms and get my children to understand there's a reason why we do and don't do things.

He's an example:

Never do for your children what they can do for themselves

Do you do tasks for your children? Do you do their washing? Clean their room? Cook their dinner? Make their lunch? Do all the house chores?

Do they help out or do they sit around all day taking it all for granted? Are they old enough to help out and be doing more? 

Remember these people have to leave home and KNOW how to do all this for themselves. That is what you're setting them up for.

For e.g.