This is a scenario that is familiar to many parents, especially mothers.
So how do you get your children to clean their rooms on a regular basis so that you're not the one having to do all the work?
Here's what I suggest.
Let you children get up as normal on a Saturday or Sunday morning; hopefully they don't have outside activities like ballet or footy on both days or all weekend, because you'll need time to work this plan.
When they're up let them have breakfast (usually mine have eaten by the time I get up because I enjoy a sleep-in on the weekend). After breaky ask them to clean their rooms and if they protest (like most children will, especially those who aren't asked to clean their rooms on a regular basis), tell them they won't be getting lunch until their room is clean.
By 'lunch' you mean nothing, no food (except water) until their room is clean. So if they want a mid morning snack the answer is no, if they want a piece of fruit and answer is no. Not until their room is clean.
Go in a check periodically. Mine will come and ask me to check saying it's done and when I go to check sometimes it isn't done, sometimes it doesn't even look as though they've started!
Eat yummy food in front of them, make their favorite lunch, dinner or snack. Stop at nothing to entice them with the prospect of joining the rest of the family in a delicious meal together.
This method will test your patience but be strong because strength is what gives you the results you want. Give them the whole day, or even all weekend, to clean their room and if they don't do it, they don't get fed. Mine have gone, only once, without eating all day because they refused to clean their room. By dinner time they're cleaning because they don't want to go another moment without eating.
This scenario may feel unworkable to you. Perhaps your children are very defiant and will override you and grab food anyway or perhaps you're a giver-innerer and can't say no. Learning to say no is paramount to parenting. Perhaps your children are sneaky and will sneak food. Or perhaps they're cheeky and will simply refuse to clean their room and not care if they get fed or not.
If your children are defiant or sneaky or you can't say no you'll have to work on those things as well. If you find the withholding food method doesn't work find other ways to get what you want such as taking away their mobile phone, computer games, footy training until their room is clean.
Do this every Saturday morning until you get to a point where you tell your child/ren it's time to clean their room and they just do it, or ideally (as is now the situation is in our house) they do it by themselves because they know it's expected of them.
Let you children get up as normal on a Saturday or Sunday morning; hopefully they don't have outside activities like ballet or footy on both days or all weekend, because you'll need time to work this plan.
When they're up let them have breakfast (usually mine have eaten by the time I get up because I enjoy a sleep-in on the weekend). After breaky ask them to clean their rooms and if they protest (like most children will, especially those who aren't asked to clean their rooms on a regular basis), tell them they won't be getting lunch until their room is clean.
By 'lunch' you mean nothing, no food (except water) until their room is clean. So if they want a mid morning snack the answer is no, if they want a piece of fruit and answer is no. Not until their room is clean.
Go in a check periodically. Mine will come and ask me to check saying it's done and when I go to check sometimes it isn't done, sometimes it doesn't even look as though they've started!
Eat yummy food in front of them, make their favorite lunch, dinner or snack. Stop at nothing to entice them with the prospect of joining the rest of the family in a delicious meal together.
This method will test your patience but be strong because strength is what gives you the results you want. Give them the whole day, or even all weekend, to clean their room and if they don't do it, they don't get fed. Mine have gone, only once, without eating all day because they refused to clean their room. By dinner time they're cleaning because they don't want to go another moment without eating.
This scenario may feel unworkable to you. Perhaps your children are very defiant and will override you and grab food anyway or perhaps you're a giver-innerer and can't say no. Learning to say no is paramount to parenting. Perhaps your children are sneaky and will sneak food. Or perhaps they're cheeky and will simply refuse to clean their room and not care if they get fed or not.
If your children are defiant or sneaky or you can't say no you'll have to work on those things as well. If you find the withholding food method doesn't work find other ways to get what you want such as taking away their mobile phone, computer games, footy training until their room is clean.
Do this every Saturday morning until you get to a point where you tell your child/ren it's time to clean their room and they just do it, or ideally (as is now the situation is in our house) they do it by themselves because they know it's expected of them.
No comments:
Post a Comment