Trust is earned

Often parents say this about their children, however parents have to be trustworthy too.

There's no point telling a child you verbally or physically abuse that trust is earned. There is no point in telling a child you berate and insult to show you respect. There's not point in having children you spoil and don't discipline and telling them they must listen to you. There's no point in leaving your children with strangers so you can go off to get high or drunk and insisting your children love and adore you no matter what.

As a parent you need to earn that trust as well. You need to be the type of person you want your children to be. If you want them to be respectful show them respect. If you want them to be caring, be caring. If you want them to grow up being well rounded people, don't dump them on strangers while you selfishly pursue your own agenda, or insult and berate them, or abuse them and ruin who they could be.

Parenting is hard. There is no manual on how to be a good parent and there are a lot of mixed messages on what it means to be a good parent. Some will read this blog and dislike my methods while others think some of it is ok, for some the words might resonate. 

Much of what we do as parents is the same stuff that was done to us growing up because it's what we learned. What we know. It's too easy to fall back into a pattern of yelling at your children or hitting them if that is what was done to you as a child. That's what you know. You don't know how to be any other way. Right?

Yet, everything you do as a parent you do as a choice. You can choose to be an awful parent or you can choose to be a nice parent. You can choose to remain ignorant or you can choose to educate yourself; go out and read those parent books or parenting blogs, go and speak to parenting experts, borrow books from the library, ask people whom you feel parent well for tips or help.

Make it your job, because it is YOUR job, to be a trustworthy, caring and loving parent. It is YOUR job to make sure your children do not get so damaged they turn into problem adults, who suffer and struggle through life wondering how to make themselves feel better. Only to have children of their own whom they struggle to love and care for.

Struggling as a parent? Have violent tendencies and anger issues? Seek help. Ask questions from people who give helpful advice.

Types of school parents

Minglers. 

They gather in groups, happily conversing the time away while they wait for the bell to go and their children to come rushing out. How is so & so? How's the weather, they ask. Small talk. I happily watch those minglers wondering how they manage to do it. How they stay so cheerful and positive, even how they tell negative stories in a positive way. "Oh yeah, he's struggling with English at the moment, his math is great though." "Yeah, hubby's been sick for 3 day now, the man flu." They laugh at the appropriate times, ask the right questions. Never seem to be stressed, anxious, depressed, while they talk about work, husband, children, weather.

There are shy parents who stand back. Up front parents who confront. Too-busy parents who professed to have tonnes of work to do, never enough time to get it all done.