They gather in groups, happily conversing the time away while they wait for the bell to go and their children to come rushing out. How is so & so? How's the weather, they ask. Small talk. I happily watch those minglers wondering how they manage to do it. How they stay so cheerful and positive, even how they tell negative stories in a positive way. "Oh yeah, he's struggling with English at the moment, his math is great though." "Yeah, hubby's been sick for 3 day now, the man flu." They laugh at the appropriate times, ask the right questions. Never seem to be stressed, anxious, depressed, while they talk about work, husband, children, weather.
There are shy parents who stand back. Up front parents who confront. Too-busy parents who professed to have tonnes of work to do, never enough time to get it all done.
The non mingler fails in the eyes of the mingler. Why doesn't she/he mingle. Why don't they join in the conversation? Why do they stand back. If you stay in your car you're the worst mingler of all because you're there which means you could be mingling but no, you've chosen to stay in your car and avoid other people all together. How dare you?
If you're shy, people will watch you and judge you, based on your level of shyness. Does it appear overly shy? Are you too shy? We can't and don't trust you because somehow your shyness leaves us feeling like there's something wrong with you. Some will approach the shy person and if they're met with resistance they might feel rejected.
The minglers are seen as gossipers no matter what they say. "O yeah, what's her face's son hit what's his face's son and the first mum denies there is a problem." "I don't like her/him/that teacher because..." These people can also be seen as sharers of the news. If it wasn't for their 'knowledge' on what's going on no-one else would know what was happening. The human grape vine, somehow evil yet helpful.
The preeners are often judged and often the most judgmental. A preener goes out in all her glory and cannot fathom anyone else doing otherwise. While those who don't do a great deal with their appearance watch the preeners with horror and awe, wondering how many spare hours a day do those ladies have?
Crusaders are concerned with the social welfare of the children. "They need to do something about bullying, it's been going on too long." A lot of work is left to them because everyone knows they'll do it. They do it because they do get a certain joy/reward from it. Helping out.
There are the absent parents, those who are never seen, many with secrets and rumors told about who they are and what they're like. Not a lot of 'what can I do to help'.
The point being, no matter which type of parent category you fall into, you're going to fail in the eyes of others, and others will fail in your eyes. Unless you truly know you are doing a bad job, try not to worry about it too much. Chances are you cannot or don't wish to change who you are. If you want to sit in your car, preen, gossip, help or be absent, the choice is yours.
There are shy parents who stand back. Up front parents who confront. Too-busy parents who professed to have tonnes of work to do, never enough time to get it all done.
The non mingler fails in the eyes of the mingler. Why doesn't she/he mingle. Why don't they join in the conversation? Why do they stand back. If you stay in your car you're the worst mingler of all because you're there which means you could be mingling but no, you've chosen to stay in your car and avoid other people all together. How dare you?
If you're shy, people will watch you and judge you, based on your level of shyness. Does it appear overly shy? Are you too shy? We can't and don't trust you because somehow your shyness leaves us feeling like there's something wrong with you. Some will approach the shy person and if they're met with resistance they might feel rejected.
The minglers are seen as gossipers no matter what they say. "O yeah, what's her face's son hit what's his face's son and the first mum denies there is a problem." "I don't like her/him/that teacher because..." These people can also be seen as sharers of the news. If it wasn't for their 'knowledge' on what's going on no-one else would know what was happening. The human grape vine, somehow evil yet helpful.
The preeners are often judged and often the most judgmental. A preener goes out in all her glory and cannot fathom anyone else doing otherwise. While those who don't do a great deal with their appearance watch the preeners with horror and awe, wondering how many spare hours a day do those ladies have?
Crusaders are concerned with the social welfare of the children. "They need to do something about bullying, it's been going on too long." A lot of work is left to them because everyone knows they'll do it. They do it because they do get a certain joy/reward from it. Helping out.
There are the absent parents, those who are never seen, many with secrets and rumors told about who they are and what they're like. Not a lot of 'what can I do to help'.
The point being, no matter which type of parent category you fall into, you're going to fail in the eyes of others, and others will fail in your eyes. Unless you truly know you are doing a bad job, try not to worry about it too much. Chances are you cannot or don't wish to change who you are. If you want to sit in your car, preen, gossip, help or be absent, the choice is yours.
In the end your children will be grown and none of it will matter.
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