Sadly I know of too many parents who feel this way about their children because they are doing too much, and sometimes everything, for their children and partners as well.
One such lady I know has been struggling with being the maid for years and years and I had the privilege of staying at her house for a weekend and helping her implement a household routine that would free her from the hassle of never ending daily chores.
This lady has always been driven by a strong pride to upkeep her house to a certain standard, while also believing she shouldn't be putting any extra work load onto her children because their lives are already hectic and busy, and they're overwhelmed enough. She has forgotten completely that it is NOT her role to be the maid and that she is also overwhelmed and needs the others in her house to help so that she is NOT doing it ALL alone. Especially when she is not the one creating the most of the mess.
But... she had no idea what organising roles would or should look like. This is where I stepped in to help.
STEP ONE:
Write down a list of all the jobs that need doing around the house.
STEP TWO:
Divide the list between members of your family and remember you're never too young to start helping out. Toddlers are more than capable of putting toys away.
STEP THREE:
Ask and remind your family to do jobs that need to be done. Don't be afraid to use your voice.
NOTE:
Ask nicely, for e.g. "Hey possum can you please empty the rubbish."
When they do the job say, "Great job, thank you", "I appreciate your help."
It is important to speak nicely to them (just like you would [or should] if they were an adult) and equally important to compliment them for helping out. It gives them a sense of pride.
STEP FOUR:
Have set times and routines for doing jobs, i.e. every Saturday morning you all help out and clean the house. Every morning beds are neatened. Every night toys are put away so you can make it to the bed to tuck them in with out breaking a toy or hurting yourself. As those who've stood on Lego know all too well!
This is an example of how the list is divided in our home:
Parents Child one Child two
Wash dishes clean guest bathroom clean guest toilet
Cooking clean bedroom (Sat) clean bedroom
Vacuuming empty dishwasher put utensils away
Mopping take out compost take out rubbish
Dusting feed/clean up pets feed/clean up pets
Washing set/clear the table set/clear the table
Bathroom wipe down bench wipe down bench
Shower straighten bedding straighten bedding
Toilet put toys away put toys away
Make beds vacuum bedroom vacuum bedroom
Clean bedroom
Shopping
Gardening
Clean car
As you can see the parents do the bulk of the work yet the children have a fair amount of jobs to do and they are more than capable of doing those jobs. If your children put up a fight find out their bargaining tool and use that to help.
Any question just ask :o)
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