Mum was good at discipline and helping us learn right from wrong. She was against racism and belittling the disabled. She was not, however, against belting her children and calling them names.
Note the difference: a smack is a small generally softish whack on a child's bottom or hand - not intended to hurt but to SHOCK the child into stopping; generally because of being in immediate danger. A belting is repeated whacks while yelling at your child and taking your anger out on a small person who can't fight back or defend themselves. If you do this... STOP!
I called one of my children an idiot once and regretted it as soon as I'd said it. My mum's voice popped out of my mouth and I was aghast! I never want to repeat that again (and haven't so far). At the time I was actually frustrated with other children who were visiting, though more truthfully their parents who were leaving the discipline of my children and theirs up to me. And I'd called my child what I felt like saying to the other families children but couldn't. Ironically, this mum who never disciplined her children was quick to tell me I shouldn't say that to my child. She's right. I shouldn't. Yet she needed to move her butt and deal with her own children so I wasn't getting as frustrated as I was!
One thing I strive for is to not call my children names though I'm sure I've failed a few times.
My good points are: I rarely yell*, I'm slow to lose my temper and can go weeks without getting stressed and agitated. However if I'm tired or unwell I can get very stressed and end up snapping. For example around the fourth day of my recent bought of sickness my son's were mucking around and being loud while I was trying to sleep. I ended up getting up and giving them a serve (between coughs), saying how "I'm desperate for some quality sleep, all the days of sleep I've had have been broken up by coughing fits and sometimes vomiting and I'm feeling really sorry for myself. You need to go to separate rooms and play quietly on your own for a while and let me sleep." And they did.
My good points are: I rarely yell*, I'm slow to lose my temper and can go weeks without getting stressed and agitated. However if I'm tired or unwell I can get very stressed and end up snapping. For example around the fourth day of my recent bought of sickness my son's were mucking around and being loud while I was trying to sleep. I ended up getting up and giving them a serve (between coughs), saying how "I'm desperate for some quality sleep, all the days of sleep I've had have been broken up by coughing fits and sometimes vomiting and I'm feeling really sorry for myself. You need to go to separate rooms and play quietly on your own for a while and let me sleep." And they did.
I consider myself quite patient with my children and fairly understanding.
There was no yelling, no name calling, no berating, no smacking, no losing my temper. Just a plead to please be considerate and let me sleep.
Regards, my faults I should probably ask my children what they feel they are. Although these are what I think my faults are; I interrupt them when they're talking and they get annoyed with that. I repeat myself sometimes and they don't like that either. I don't take an interactive part in their schooling beyond making sure they're doing well, their homework is done and going to school concerts and events. I'm strict and make them do stuff. I know they get bothered by that sometimes, although I'm sure they'll appreciate having that skill when they're older. The will be good parents themselves because of what I'm instilling in them.
What are your faults and your good points? Do your good points out weight your faults?
* By yell I refer to losing my temper, ranting or yelling in anger. I will, when necessary, raise my voice to my children such as them running off on me in the shopping center or train station when they're little and me calling out "Oi!" to call their attention and call them back. Or if one is hurting or upsetting the other and not listening to my intervention and I'll call out "Hey!" or "Stop!"
There was no yelling, no name calling, no berating, no smacking, no losing my temper. Just a plead to please be considerate and let me sleep.
Regards, my faults I should probably ask my children what they feel they are. Although these are what I think my faults are; I interrupt them when they're talking and they get annoyed with that. I repeat myself sometimes and they don't like that either. I don't take an interactive part in their schooling beyond making sure they're doing well, their homework is done and going to school concerts and events. I'm strict and make them do stuff. I know they get bothered by that sometimes, although I'm sure they'll appreciate having that skill when they're older. The will be good parents themselves because of what I'm instilling in them.
What are your faults and your good points? Do your good points out weight your faults?
* By yell I refer to losing my temper, ranting or yelling in anger. I will, when necessary, raise my voice to my children such as them running off on me in the shopping center or train station when they're little and me calling out "Oi!" to call their attention and call them back. Or if one is hurting or upsetting the other and not listening to my intervention and I'll call out "Hey!" or "Stop!"
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