Do you ask for help?

On the day I become sick (with a chest infection) I was due to meet up with a friend. I had to cancel and when I did they told me to let them know if I needed anything. At the time I was thinking, "Well, yes I need some milk and bread and ..." but I would never have asked. Because my friend lives fifteen minutes drive away and has her own family to look after, but more than that; it's because I'm contagious and wouldn't want to give it to her or anybody else. So I didn't ask for help.

My sister phoned and I couldn't talk. She asked if I wanted her to bring over some chicken soup, nice of her to think of me. She lives an hour away by public transport and there is no way I'd ask that of her.

Then there is the flip side.

In the past I've had people offer to help, telling me how they're going to help, offering to do this or that on these particular days and times. Then they've not been there when they said they would, not given the support promised. Had a lack of integrity. From this I've learned that sometimes people say "Let me know if you need any help" without meaning it. It's hard to know if the offer for help is genuine and one of the only ways to know for sure is to ask for and see what happens.

If a person doesn't offer to help, or says they will and then they don't, you know you can't rely on them. If they do help then you've found yourself a reliable friend. 

Although sometimes people can ask for our help too often in a way that doesn't allow them to learn for themselves or face their hurdles. It can be hard trying to say no to people like this. 

Then there are the other friends who often help others while never helping you no matter how often you say you need help; I've met people like that as well. So I've learned (and this is my own story based on my own experience) that there is little point asking for help from others and that the only people I can truly rely on are those in my immediate circle. Myself and my children, we are there to help each other out which is why it is so important we build up friendships with each other and I teach them as many skills as I can.

Do yo ask for help when you need it?  

Do others offer and you turn them down?  

Or perhaps you don't feel the offer of help is genuine?