Don't poke the sleeping bear

I am not a perfect mother and no childhood is without trauma no matter how good and loving the parents are.

I would say that my biggest fault is tiredness and how agro I get around that tiredness. I am often tired at random times during the day on any given day and will desperately need to sleep.

Parenting is exhausting!

Of course trying to nap with children around is difficult because they're noisy, they get into mischief, they interrupt my sleep to tell me things.

Over the years my children have learned to let me sleep when I desperately need a nap because I am aggro if/when my sleep is interrupted. I'm like a hibernating bear that got poked and started growling.

One time I was dosing on the couch at around the time my child returned home with a school friend. My child saw I was asleep and let me be, until his friend started asking if he could stay the night. So, my child woke me to ask me if the friend could stay over.

Some back story: my child had spoken a number of times about how bothered they were by this friend and I had personally had a few situations where this particular friend had really annoyed me. Such as the time they veined having a severely hurt ankle, after falling at a park, and insisted I 'carry' them - even though they're my size and weight (far too old and big to be carried). They wouldn't move unless I carried them and tried to cling to me and climb on me! Like what the hell! So i'm trying to carry this over sized baby, feeling really annoyed because I knew they weren't that hurt. It was all for attention and that craving of attention annoyed me. Eventually a man came along and carried the boy to my car and I drove the child home.

So here I am being woken up by this friend standing behind my child, insisting my child wake me to ask me if they can stay over.

I say no and they keep re-asking (my child asking repeatedly on behalf of the friend). They start pleading; they'll be good, they'll be no trouble etc. Eventually I say, "You're already bothering me by waking me when I'm trying to sleep!" My child knows better!

They walk away, grab some food off the bench and are about to head into the bedroom when my child stops because they know they're not allowed to eat in the bedroom. The friend walks down the hallway with the food in his hand and I say, "No food in the bedroom!"

They reply, "I'm just..." (getting my bike helmet) taking the food (a crumbly muffin) into the bedroom.

Already grumpy from being woken up. Already grumpy from being nagged and badgered about letting them stay over. Already grumpy from knowing my child knows better and should have told the friend they're not waking me to ask me that. And now this not listening to my request and taking food into the bedroom, I lost my cool.

I went over to the friend and yelled, "I said no food in the bedroom, that doesn't mean just keep walking with said food, falling crumbs everywhere. If you need to grab your helmet, put the muffin on the bench, grab your helmet then grab the muffin!"

The child looked terrified, like they were about to burst into tears. They never came back. Ooops!

Though, to be honest, I didn't mind that I didn't see that child again. I hadn't liked them.

Another time they'd come over and we were getting ready for  family gathering and they asked if they could attend, and when I said no they started nagging - repeatedly asking and asking and asking. I got the feeling that badgering their parents works for them so they try this technique on everyone. In my case it only annoyed me and put me off them.

On top of that the mum was odd. The first time I met her, I road over to their house with my child to ask if her child was allowed to come over to our house for a visit (my child and this friend had just met and my child wanted to have the new friend over). When we got there she said in a mistrusting off tone, "Who are you?" I explain who we are and why we're there.
The mum said she had to ask the dad (her husband). I thought she meant 'text him', but she didn't. She said nothing much after that, so my child and her child played at their house while I waited out front with the bikes, not knowing she wasn't actually 'asking the dad'. After a while she did come and sit with me out side, generally chatting, because she was probably wondering what I was doing hanging about out front... and it wasn't until we'd been there for over an hour when said the dad doesn't get home until after 5:30pm (which is when she was going to ask him). I'd have left straight away if I'd known that's what she meant.

Weeks later she phoned me to ask me if I could mind their cat for the weekend. I didn't mind pet sitting and it was nice having a cat around.

Just a few weeks later I got a call from her asking if I could drive to the park to pick up her child who had hurt themselves and bring them back to her place... (i.e. the time the child wanted me to carry them).

Some months later they'd asked us over to a BBQ however I was sick on the day and had to cancel and she was really annoyed by that.

A few weeks later, to try and make up for it, I invited them to a BBQ and she wouldn't commit to a date... so it never happened.

Months after her child had last been to our place (after being yelled at and never returning) she messaged me and told me they were moving and she had some perishable food items she wanted to give us. While there picking up the items, she talked about how hard it had been for them to make friends in the area, and all I could think about was how odd she'd behaved the first time we'd met, and how little effort she made towards being friendly.

So there you go, that is the bad side to my parenting. Tiredness. Grumpiness. And a general intolerance of needy, attention seeking, nagging children.

What are your parenting flaws. Have you ever yelled at someone else's child?