What drives a parent to murder a child?

In light of Kobi Shepherdson's death and the discussions that are ensuing, there are a lot of questions about what drives a parent to do this. Although, mostly people are talking about what makes 'evil men' do this, and talk of control and entitlement and revenge.

Truth is, it isn't only men who murder their children. Gabrielle Garcia also jumped to her death with her 22 month old son strapped to her. Although it is said that men are more likely to kill their children as an act of revenge (after a partner leaves them), where as women are more likely to kill their children due to mental illness and lack of support. 

Though, fundamentally both are born of mental issues and acts of desperation to some degree. Mentally healthy people don't abuse their partners or children, and mentally well people don't murder their children.

However, I have a confession.

Speak your mind

How to.  When to.

Always with respect. We don't resort to "Hey you idiot" or words like that. In saying that, my children do on occasion, name call, and when caught I'll speak my mind and say "That's not ok."

Some times people let an annoying thing build up and up, until they can't take it any more and explode; with rage or anger or upset and tears. If it gets like this you might have tolerated it for too long, or asked for it to stop repeatedly and it hasn't.

The best time to speak up is at the time it happens and as soon as you notice it bothers you, or shortly there after. Keep in mind some things that annoy you aren't going to make sense to others and that's ok. It's give and take.

You could say, I'll stop this and ask if you can please stop that in return.

NOTE: It will not happen if someone denies it happens. That cuts off any chance of change.

Do you let young children play outside alone?

Learning about the story of Nevaeh Buchanan, a 5 year old who was kidnapped and murdered, it got me wondering: is it normal for parents to let their young children play outside, late in the evening, alone?

Granted, Nevaeh's mother Jennifer, thought her daughter was at her friend's place - close enough that she could watch her daughter enter the friends house (as Jennifer claims she did).

Still, it was 6pm!  Night time! (even thought the sun is still up in that district)

Her little girl (only 5 - just graduated kinder) is allowed to go out and play at 6pm at night.  I don't understand the mother's thinking.  It just seems so negligent to me.

When my children we little they were never allowed out of my site.  If they went to the park I went with them, if they played in the street or out the front I went outside and watched them, if they went to a friends house I went with them (at the very least dropped them off and picked them up).  They were not free to rome the streets, especially at such a young age!

By 6pm my 5 year old would be home having dinner and getting ready for bed.  Small children should be going to bed early so they can recoup, grow and process all they've learned that day.  Not be out alone, playing with friends.

This is why I ask: is this normal?  Do parents usually let their young children play outside alone?