I'm
Special Agent Wile.
I have a particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. I will find you and I will deal with the situation.
Not spying in the typical sense: I am the Liam Neeson of parenting spies.
I seek them out.
I gain their trust.
I insert myself into their world.
I ask questions, enquire about their interests.
I listen.
I gather intelligence.
What are they doing? Who are they talking to? What conversations are taking place?
That looks like: me knocking on their door, checking in on them, seeing what they're up to, asking them to help me with something, getting them to do a chore so I can do my jobs. Talking to them when they're out of their room, offering food, doing a task together.
I see what they're up to. A new game on their computer. They love to talk about their achievements, what level they beat or are up to. Challenges. high scores. Crashes and burns, silly or cool people who are also in the game.
It's not the life I wanted for my children, sitting for copious amounts behind their computers, slouching. I wanted them out and about, off electronics, enjoying nature, moving. Incorporating as much outside, away from the computer, time as I can.
When going up to their door to knock I can hear conversations and I will listen, not to the words so much as what they convey and if my child is enjoying the interaction. I've no issue asking them about an interaction, saying if it sounded like it wasn't going well, or that it sounded like they were having a good laugh.
Their is no trust broken. No boundaries overstepped. Just allowing them the space to be honest and open and discussing their lives with me.
