I have a friend whom I've know all my life. She and I had children around the same time so our children grew up spending time with each other as well.
However, her child is extremely shy. It doesn't help that her child also has a speech impediment and was bullied for that at school. This only added to the shyness and over the years the child became very introverted as well.
As a baby, they were smiley, playful, happy, your typical baby. As a toddler it was much the same however when it came time to talking this is where the speech impediment started to be noticed.
It's worth noting here that the mother had post natal depression and during my foster care years I was sent on a course to learn about PND and its long lasting effects on children. In particular, it was stated that in most cases the mother with PND does not interact with her baby/toddler in the same manner that mothers without PND do. Therefore they're not talking as much with the child which can lead to speech delays as well as speech impediments.
It was also stated that this can often also lead to a child growing up with a particular type of severe shyness and this is interesting because my friend had PND and her child had speech and shyness issues.
When her child did interact with us, that is: coming over for the odd visit or birthday party, they behaved in an unusual way.
One time they left the house. We couldn't find them anywhere and upon searching outside, found the child well up the street walking away from the safety of the house without telling anyone they were going. This was traumatic for the mother who thought she'd lost her child!
Another time they locked themselves in the toilet refusing to come out, until the mother did some cajoling and coaxed the child out. The child made some odd statement about being scared and even though they were old enough to elaborate and make sense, they would not say what they were scared of.
During first years of school they were given an aid teacher to help with speech issues and sent to a speech pathologist for help, however, the school discontinued the aid and the parents could not afford their own speech pathologist, so any help thereafter was not forthcoming. From early primary school onward no assistance was given to the child.
As the child grew into those brooding teen years they were allowed to run and hide in their room whenever visitors came over and this continued into adulthood. The child was not asked to be polite and at least come out and say hello and good bye. Instead they spent all their time in their room never interacting with anyone, including my son, as they got older.
Now that they're an adult they rarely interact with family or attend family outings. Though thankfully they have a handful of close friends they spend time with.
It's a shame. I would have like to have known this person. Would have liked to converse with them, even if just for the briefest of moments. I never got to know them, never got to learn about their interests or enquire about those interests or any other such interactions. So while I have gotten to the know the mum over decades I don't know this person at all, aside from the cool and interesting things the mum tells me.
From what I hear they've grown into an intelligent and creative person who enjoys cooking from time to time.
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