Yes I lose my cool... but often? All the time? With my children? No.
I do have moments of agitation, frustration, stress and annoyance. Still, it's not often that I'm losing my cool. I'm all about keeping my cool as best I can and not yelling; but also setting things up so I don't have to yell (or seldom yell).
I like to explain things in simple terms and get my children to understand there's a reason why we do and don't do things.
He's an example:
I asked one sibling to fetch another. When the other came out the child who did the fetching on my behalf got hurt; the other sibling hurt them! I was annoyed, cross, angry! Yet I did not yell, did not lose my cool, did not rant and rave and carry on. This would only stress myself and my children out and any conversation or understanding of consequence would be lost.
Words were had!
First I had to get to the bottom of the story. What happened? Who did what? What was the sequence of events?
One sibling hurt the other sibling for interrupting. Not good enough, I said, because he wouldn't have hurt me if I'd interrupted, it shouldn't make a difference who does the interrupting. Also, because they were being fetched on my behalf the interruption is compulsory. So especially no reason to hurt your sibling. I need to be able send siblings to fetch each other without something untoward happening!
The number one rule here (which still gets broken) is: Keep Your Hands To Yourself!
First I had to get to the bottom of the story. What happened? Who did what? What was the sequence of events?
One sibling hurt the other sibling for interrupting. Not good enough, I said, because he wouldn't have hurt me if I'd interrupted, it shouldn't make a difference who does the interrupting. Also, because they were being fetched on my behalf the interruption is compulsory. So especially no reason to hurt your sibling. I need to be able send siblings to fetch each other without something untoward happening!
The number one rule here (which still gets broken) is: Keep Your Hands To Yourself!
It's the number one rule and the rule that gets broken the most because one of my children struggles to use words in times of stress and lashes out physically. It's an ongoing situation that we are working through by implementing strategies and coping mechanisms. It's annoying that it happens and annoying that it's not an easy fix. Still, it's improving over time and I do NOT lose my cool.
The result: the hurter was sent to bed with no dinner and the iPad was confiscated indefinitely.
That's it. It's how I handle situations through conversation. Through talking and explaining and then giving a suitable consequence.
What about you? Do you lose your cool with your children all the time? How would you handle this situation? Would how I handled it work for you? If not why not?
The result: the hurter was sent to bed with no dinner and the iPad was confiscated indefinitely.
That's it. It's how I handle situations through conversation. Through talking and explaining and then giving a suitable consequence.
What about you? Do you lose your cool with your children all the time? How would you handle this situation? Would how I handled it work for you? If not why not?
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