No is a part of life

No you can't run that red light.

No you can't speed.

No you can't come to work in your pajamas (unless it's pajama day).

No you can't go shopping in the nude.

To some these rules might seem a unfair or annoying or against some constitutional freedom, however life is full of rules we have to follow in order to have a well functioning society and that's all there is to it.

No is a part of life.

Yet there are parents who loath to say the word NO to their child. Parents who loath to set rules and stand by those rules. Parents who feel that saying no to their child is heartbreaking and really really hard to do.

These parents forget that 

1) they're the boss, they're meant to be firm but fair 

2) their children will struggle as adults when it comes to obeying rules 

3) teaching them how to be adults is the parents job.

All too often we complain about how the youth of today are rude, belligerent, spoiled, precocious. We often hear people saying things like that child needs a good ol' biff across the ear. We don't have to resort to smacking in order to teach children respect. 

We simply need to teach them the word NO, and teach them the rules that apply to all people who inhabit this earth. Childhood is all about teaching child how to behave properly so that by that time they're adults they know what's expected of them.

We're raising people who will become adults and they need to know right from wrong, good from bad, empathy, respect, tolerance and understanding.

P.S. Saying no works best if you reframe it such as:

Child: Can I have an ice-cream.

Adult: No because you haven't cleaned your room.

vs

Adult: Yes, once you've cleaned your room.

We all have bad days

I got out of my pjs today. It was a good day!

There had been a couple of days I could barely make it out of my pjs. Tiredness and fatigue washed over me. I had so much to do and little desire to do it, let alone take time to take care of myself. Getting dressed became low priority.

My mood was low and I struggled to stay on top of things.

Luckily the family helped out. The children and my partner jumped right in, doing the bits and pieces I wasn't getting done.

It is normal for everyone to have washed out days; days where we are fatigued or unwell or overwhelmed and overloaded.* Share it with the family and ask them to help out.

*If this is happening to you too often seek advice on how to handle the situation better or find out why you're feeling low.

The main thing is we didn't turn it into a problem. People weren't annoyed mum wasn't her usual resourceful and industrious self. They know they have those days too and we all rally around them to help them in those moments.

Is that how it works at your house? If not, why not?

We just got stuff done and when I felt better I had a day where I got out of my pjs and felt proud of myself for getting at least that much done that day.

Do you struggle to get your family to help out around the house? Need pointers, suggestions, ideas? Leave and comment...