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Thursday 15 November 2018

No is a part of life

No you can't run that red light.

No you can't speed.

No you can't come to work in your pajamas (unless it's pajama day).

No you can't go shopping in the nude.

To some these rules might seem a unfair or annoying or against some constitutional freedom, however life is full of rules we have to follow in order to have a well functioning society and that's all there is to it.

No is a part of life.

Yet there are parents who loath to say the word NO to their child. Parents who loath to set rules and stand by those rules. Parents who feel that saying no to their child is heartbreaking and really really hard to do.

These parents forget that 
1) they're the boss, they're meant to be firm but fair 
2) their children will struggle as adults when it comes to obeying rules 
3) teaching them how to be adults is the parents job.

All too often we complain about how the youth of today are rude, belligerent, spoiled, precocious. We often hear people saying things like that child needs a good ol' biff across the ear. We don't have to resort to smacking in order to teach children respect. 

We simply need to teach them the word NO, and teach them the rules that apply to all people who inhabit this earth. Childhood is all about teaching child how to behave properly so that by that time they're adults they know what's expected of them.

We're raising people who will become adults and they need to know right from wrong, good from bad, empathy, respect, tolerance and understanding.

P.S. Saying no works best if you reframe it such as:

Child: Can I have an ice-cream.

Adult: No because you haven't cleaned your room.

vs

Adult: Yes, once you've cleaned your room.

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