Are you raising a sociopath?

It's an odd question because how would you know, right? You might think there's something wrong with your child and there isn't. Or you might think your child is fine and they're not.

let me give you a scenario that might help you understand the title a little bit better.

We had friends come and stay with us for over a week and it didn't take long before I was feeling agitated by their children's' lack of discipline. Having them stay was a horror story of epic proportions!

Aside from the fact that her children are ridiculously messy and aren't made to clean up after themselves (that's the dad's or the host's (us) job according to the mother), are rude and obnoxious to adults, don't finish meals then help themselves to more food and drink, talk back to their parents, hit and hurt other children to the point of physical harm in some cases, sometimes hit and hurt their mum, have jealous outbursts, damage other people's property, gloat if they get my children in trouble, stay up late (when I'm over them by noon... lol), don't respect other adults enough to stop when they're asked to stop...  The kind of children who say "You're not my boss" if you reprimand them.

One child liked to kill critters and animals!

Here's how it went down.

I am the boss

My childhood wasn't a pleasant one. I don't think many of us have had really great childhoods. There is always some hardship or another such as divorce, poverty, abuse, neglect, being spoiled, getting too much, dealing with weight, bullying etc., with some people's hardships being worst than others.

Still I don't begrudge my childhood. It taught me resilience and a very BIG and important thing which is: as a parent I am the BOSS!!!! No ifs, buts, or otherwise.

My parents were hard and at times mean and brutal with their discipline and words. From them I learned a number of things I promised I would NOT do to my children (most of which I managed to avoid doing) and I also learned how I did want to parent. Even though my parents were strict with their discipline and I've had friends tell me they feel sorry for me because of my upbringing (Some of those people are now struggling with their own children), I feel blessed that I learned how to stand my ground with my children. They will never walk all over me!

I see other women struggling with their children, having no clue how to get their children to behave, giving idle threats, using time-out incorrectly, complaining that their children won't sleep in their own beds, complaining that they can't get their children into to bed early, some parents even keeping their young toddlers up till 11pm until the child finally passes out, other parents not being able to get their children to eat well, some too afraid or embarrassed to have the birds and bees talk, some parents who are unable to cook let alone feed their children well...

And I feel blessed that my parents taught me the skills to deal with these issues and more.

I am a good boss because I am a leader. I am not perfect. My children are not perfect. We have bad moments and good times. For the most part I feel blessed to have the children I have and blessed to be a parent. It was something I had wanted for myself and I'm so glad I'm doing as good a job as I'd always hoped and believed I would.

How bout you? Did you get to learn these invaluable lessons from your upbringing? Are you the boss?  Are you a good boss? Feel free to share some things you've learned.