People forget the point of food is nutrients, to nourish and feed our bodies. Putting the right energy in is very important for muscles, bones and brain development.
Of course it won't surprise you that I am old school when it comes to serving a meal and having my children finish what is on their plate. Not because I'm from old war times, still living under the notion of food scarcity, but because food gives us important and necessary nutrients (I'm not talking about junk - obviously). Also, because we pay good money for fruit and vegetables and other foods and I don't like to waste food or money.
When it comes to eating I have some very serious rules that I believe are necessary when it comes to raising healthy human beings. We may no longer be in war times, struggling to find morsels to eat. Instead we live in a time of abundance where people are now taking food for granted. It still costs money to produce, make, buy and throw away. Children need to learn the importance of not being wasteful.
Child should eat what they're given. "If you don't eat it you get nothing". None of this cooking something for some family members and cooking something different for the fussy ones. Stuff that! Too complicated and I'm all about EASY parenting!!!!
Child should finish what is on their plate because I'm smart enough to know what portion sizes are suitable for a child, what they can eat comfortably without being gluttonous. I also believe that it doesn't matter if you don't like beans, they're good for you and you should eat them. I don't like carrots yet I eat them because my body needs the nutrients.
A plate isn't finished unless it is clean of all edible food. Nothing more irritating than a child who spreads his food all over his plate to make it look just about all gone when really they hardly touched their meal. That is NOT finished. That is trying to trick your parents and cheat the system and yet MANY parents accept this as 'near enough is good enough' and then when that child asks for something else afterward they get it!!!! Weak parenting right there. Your child soon learns 'eat all your dinner' doesn't really mean eat your dinner at ALL!
There will be NO dessert or treat afterward if you don't finish your meal. In my house that looks like: a child didn't finish his breakfast - he gets no snack/food until lunch time; a child didn't finish his lunch - he gets no snack/food until dinner time; a child didn't finish his dinner, he gets not snack/dessert after dinner. Simple! Unfinished meals may be kept to be eaten later.
For example sometimes I'll see children eat their bread for lunch yet discard the filling. That is not finishing your lunch. The wile parent never forgets and when they ask for more food later the answer is "No, you didn't eat ALL your lunch."
I see parents who pore their children glasses of milk, the child takes a sip and leaves the rest and this is OK to those parents. What on earth! What a waste! What a terrible message to teach a child, that wasting that milk is ok!
Quite often in my house, not finishing your dinner equals bedtime or getting nothing else if they refuse to eat what's presented. Let's say my child only ate the spaghetti and not the sauce or the veggies (it has happened), I will then put them to be early (this is mostly for young children); and I tell them it's to make up for loss of nutrients their body isn't getting because they didn't eat their food. This might be cause for lots of tears and fuss (not just in my house but many) therefore the parent and the child will need that wind-down break-time. What better break than putting them to bed?
This is done with my children when they are younger so by the time they're in school they know the rules and abide by them. When they're older they know that if mum or dad puts vegetables on the plate they must eat them. And I'm not so insensitive that if they're not hungry or not well or they really hate mushrooms (for example) I will force them to eat. Sometime the food will be kept to eat later. Sometimes their meal will be shared among other family members. Still, if they want different food or something else to eat the answer is no. If they weren't hungry enough to eat their dinner they're not hungry enough for dessert.
This is about having children understand vital rules. At school, they don't pass their classes if they don't hand in the work. In the work place they don't get a promotion if they don't finish their work. The world is all about rules and having to respect them and it's important as a parent you raise your children to understand rules. Rebellion may be good for a good cause but dinner time is no time for any such rebellion.
Which leads me to an idea for another blog (soon to come)... what happens when spoiled children grow up.
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