The hosts had a little girl there, age 1.5yrs. Come 7pm, she's still up. Come 8pm she's still up.
One of the other parents with children her age asked, "What time does your daughter normally go to bed?" I could tell he was feeling as agitated about it as I was. The mother mumbled some brush off answer and he and I gave each other a look. Later (out of earshot from the mother; didn't want her feeling bad or judged) I told him it's nice to meet another parent who believes children should be in bed early.
For me... I was concerned about the little girl. She was so tired. Her eyes were droopy, she wasn't smiling and having fun, she just looked exhausted. There was far too much going on for her to sleep so she walked around trying to stay mobile and awake.
To my amazement she didn't turn into a hyper child, going all silly the way my children do when they're trying to keep themselves awake. They start jumping and being silly deliberately trying to keep their bodies moving so they don't fall asleep. When it comes time to put them in bed they're so wired they struggle to sleep. Which is exactly the reason I rarely keep my children up late. It's too stressful on them and for us parents.
Finally, at around 11pm the mum says she's going to put her little girl to bed and never returns. I realised that the mother keeps the child up until she (the mother) is ready for bed and they sleep in the same (marital) together. I'm all for co-sleeping. It is wonderful sleeping beside a baby/toddler/child. They grow out of wanting to sleep in the parents bed too quick, nice to cherish it before it ends.
Now, essentially this is working for them as parents in that it's their routine, it's what they do. They keep the little girl up until the mother is ready for bed and the little girl is then put to sleep beside the mother. For whatever reason they've decided this is how they want to operate.
Yet here's a few issues with this scenario.
1) The little girl is not learning how to self sleep/self soothe.
2) Our bodies and minds recoup and sort out the days affairs while we sleep. If we're not given enough sleep time this process is hindered. This is why children who have longer overnight sleeps are generally more intelligent and observant than children who don't get enough sleep. It is also why children who don't get enough sleep tend to be underdeveloped (size wise for their age).
3) Eventually, when they go to move their daughter into her own bedroom it's going to be so hard to get her to stay in her room, let alone her own bed. They've got a big fight coming their way and they don't know it. I know this from friends who've already made the same mistake (allowing their children to sleep in their bed for too long).
4) It diminishes intimacy between parents. Now it could be that this is exactly why the mother is bedding this way. Perhaps intimacy with her partner is the last thing she wants and having the child in the bed helps keep her husband at bay?
5) This little girl is tired almost all of the time! She simply isn't getting enough sleep to sustain herself. Keep in mind, she doesn't nap during the day because the only way she sleeps is with her mum beside her. Sadly this little girl is never really chirpy or happy or playful. Every time I see her she's like this sullen zombie girl with tired eyes.
Do you keep your children up late or know others who do? Do you agree children should go to bed early and get plenty of sleep?
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