A day in the life of being a mum

I’d always prided myself on being a good parent. Of being the kind of parent who knows what I want from my children and knows how to achieve these goals. Then along comes one child who makes me doubt and question myself and my parenting skills (or perhaps lack thereof).

When I have a shower or get dressed I bring my toddler into the bathroom with me. A) to keep them away from big sibling who likes to antagonise baby sibling when no-one is there to stop them. B) it keeps age my toddler out of trouble; I know they're not in the knife draw or tipping out my glitter while no-one is there to stop them (yes this has happened).

This particular time my other child says they want to come in too, saying they're going to behave. 

All is fine for a little while. 

I’m dried and dressed and about to start my moisturising routine and comb my hair as my toddler comes and shows me a transformer toy they've created by attaching bits of toy pieces to a car. Cute. They go back to where big sibling is playing where big sibling promptly snatches the toy away from little sibling saying “I had it first”.  Little sibling starts crying and trying to get the car back. I go over to their squabble and see that big sibling has about 8 cars in their possession and still thinks they need to snatch the other car off baby sibling because “I had it first”.

So now I’m referee, telling big sibling they've got plenty of toys, didn’t have the car first, couldn’t have had the car first, because the car was in age 3’s possession not two minutes early. Instead of that being the end of it they start arguing with me, protesting that they DID have the car first and instead of letting go of the car and returning it to little sibling they're trying to wrestle it from my possession.

We have conversation about how they've got plenty of cars, little sibling had the car early and there was no problem and also, they said they would behave if I let them play with little sibling while I got dressed.  The car is returned to little sibling under duress. For the next 5 or so minutes big sibling spends their time mumbling at little sibling insisting they had the car first and calling little sibling an idiot. So now I’m on the scene again telling my other child they need to leave the room now because they came in saying they would behave and instead causing fights.

Does my child leave quietly? No. They argue with me saying they never called little sibling an idiot and they are behaving. I tell them they need to leave of their own accord or else I will pick them up and remove them myself. My child drops to the floor. I pick them up and carry them out of the room.

It’s still not over. Now they're at my door refusing to let me close it, trying to force a way back in. By now I’m starting to get angry. My face and hair are drying without being moisturised or combed. What was meant to be a separation of siblings so I could get dressed in piece is turning into a battle that I don’t want to have.

The two of us struggle at the door, them trying to scratch at me and battle their way back in. Me holding them off.

I find myself telling them if they don’t back away right now I will be forced to lock them outside. Now the tears start, the pleads, “I had the car first, I didn’t start any fights, I didn’t call my sibling an idiot”.  It’s all part of a ploy to prolong me closing the door and finish getting ready without their presence. I tell them I’m not having any further conversation with them. Either back away and let me finish getting ready or be locked outside. My child backs away and I finish getting ready in peace.

I should point out, I’ve never locked them outside before and never threatened to do so. Though I had a friend who did this and got a good result. So I’m feeling very tempted.

Feeling in my mind, ‘if you can’t be part of this family and be respectful to family members perhaps it’s best you leave.’  Lol. He’s only young!