Raising brats

Some parents don't know they're raising brats or if they do, they don't understand why their children are that way. They foolishly think there is nothing they're doing to cause it and nothing they can do to stop it.

For example: I know a lady with teen daughters who don't help around the house. She can't get them to do any house work or contribute in a healthy way that helps her run the house smoothly. She'll ask them to do a chore and they'll say later and never do it. Then she'll complain to others that her children aren't helping out and she cant' get them to help out. Some one suggested she stop driving her daughters places they wish to go until such time as they're helping out. She said she can't do that because she feels obligated to driver her daughters here and there.
I can see where she is failing. I can see she is the reason her daughters are the way they are. Yet she thinks her daughters are just unruly and it has nothing to do with anything she is doing.

I have another friend whose child is grown up now and she grew into this manipulative adult who gets really angry with her mum whenever her mum doesn't drop everything and help her out. This mother gave in to her daughter when she was younger. She rarely punished her or scolded her for acting out. I would see this girl acting out and watch the mother doing nothing. In fact sometimes the mother would send me in to do her dirty work (i.e. have words with her daughter), her daughter would complain to the mum about how unfair I was being and the mother would tell me I shouldn't have said what I said. I'm not kidding! True story! The mother would back peddle and pretend it wasn't her who sent me in to talk to her daughter because she couldn't stand her daughter being upset with her. Now she wonders why her relationship with her daughter is strained.

It is so important as a parent to be the BOSS and not your child's FRIEND. Children have friends at school, it is those friendships where they get to talk about the issues they face. It is also good to be able to have that type of comradery with your child, however you must have it in second place to being the BOSS. You must first learn to control your children before you can have their mateship.

You are the reason your child will turn out they way they do. You! 

As adults they'll have to face their own demons and work through issues they feel are unresolved, but the bottom line is if you're child is a brat you are doing or not doing something to make that happen.