Vying for love

I have a friend, who is now a grown women with children of her own, who is still vying for the attention of her mother.

It's sad to have watched how it played out over the course of many years. I remember having conversations with the mother about how detrimental her parenting towards her daughter was. Sadly it fell on deaf ears.

This situation was a case of the mother spoiling her daughter, letting her daughter call the shots, wanting to be liked by her daughter, then having these emotional breakdowns when the daughter's behavior got too overwhelming, then backing down and caving in when the daughter got upset by the yelling and potential discipline.

Your bad upbringing can go 3 ways

1) You continue the abuse.

2) You stop the abuse and learn better ways to parent.

3) You become a doormat to the child, so afraid of being strict you go the other way entirely. (I've also seen people who have had good upbringings go this way).

Obviously number 2 is the best option. Number 1 is sad for obvious reasons; you'd think not liking being abused the parent would not wish that upon their own children, yet sadly it doesn't work that way because we do what we know and are familiar with.

Option 3 is also a tragic option that I have witnessed first hand.

Responsibility equals good behavior

If you've ever watched the show The World's Strictest Parents you will have notice one key ingredient they use for creating well behaved, well mannered children. Responsibility, and lots of it.

The worse the behavior the bigger the responsibility the child (including teens) is given.