Children need a mediator

That's one of my roles as a parent. I'm like the man in the middle of the boxing ring with a bell, "Ding ding ding, back to your corners."

I watch my children trying to navigate relationships, with parents, with siblings, with cousins, with friends, and I notice how to interact with people is not innate. It doesn't come naturally.

Conflict resolution is especially hard. Even as an adult, in relationships, I've noticed conflict resolution is really tricky and we're not taught that during any stage of our lives.

It is left up to individual parents/guardians to teach children and if the adult doing the teaching doesn't have the skill to teach a child... then what hope does the child have?

And children catch you out if you live your life telling them to do one thing while you do the opposite.  For example, yelling while telling them not to yell.

Here is a situation where I had to give my children some direction when it came to them navigating their relationship together.

I had made them a treat and let one of them lick the bowl while I cleaned up. Usually they get to lick something each, though on this occasion only one was present and helping me. Licking the bowl was a reward.

Another sibling came out later, saw the other sibling licking the bowl and told them off for it, using a disrespectful, bossy tone: claiming they shouldn't be literally licking the bowl; face in the bowl and all.

I mentioned that it's my job to do the telling, unless it's a strict rule we should all be adhering to such as keep our hands to ourselves. Licking the bowl in not breaking any rules and I'm right there, if I have an issue I'll say something.

I tell my children all the time, "It's your job to be friends with each other, support each other and have each other's backs, while I do the bossing."

This is a simple story where nothing much was going on, still it was a teachable moment in that they learned a little about how to treat each other nicely and respectfully.

If I hadn't been there mediating, the child doing the bossing my have become righteous, while the other became rebellious. Next minute all hell breaks loose! Instead, I gave the one doing the bossing something to think about.

Do you teach your children to navigate relationships and if so what do you do?