Don't leave teens alone

Not if you play your cards right.

It's self explanatory, still let me explain.

As parents it is tempting to ignore your children for hours on end. Maybe there is some dinner party you're getting ready for and it will take hours of your time. Maybe you're watching the footy. Maybe you're binge watching a tele series. Maybe you're in desperate need of an electronic babysitter.

We've all been there, multiple times.

Anyone with teens will also know they spend an exorbitant amount of time alone in their bedroom. Sometimes locking themselves in their rooms. Often being testy if you dare enter their lair. "Get out!" How often have you heard that? Or the infamous groan... like you're interrupting some uber important life moment.

It can be tempting to set and forget and barely or rarely spend anytime with them, barely have conversations with your teen. Yet teens go through so many ups and downs and hard to navigate moments.

Do I ask that person out? Do they like me? How will I know? Why do I feel so moody? Why do my joints ache all the time? How do I get rid of these pimples? 

Sydney parents face court over vegan diet which left baby 'malno

Sydney parents face court over vegan diet which left baby 'malnourished'

"She said her daughter would generally have one cup of oats with rice milk and half a banana in the morning, and a piece of toast with jam or peanut butter for lunch.

For dinner, she said her daughter would be offered tofu, rice or potatoes. But she said the girl was a fussy eater so she might just have oats again."

The headline of this story makes out veganism is the cause of the malnutrician, however when you look into it more deeply you realise there are a number of other issues at play.

For starters the girls food intake is all white. Where's the fruit; apples, oranges, strawberries, blueberries etc.? Where are the vegetables; cucumber, carrots, beans, peas, cauliflower, broccoli? Where are all the colourful foods that bring vitamins and minerals to the table?

It is not being vegan that made this girl sick it's the lack or variety in her diet.

When I broke my arm

Personal story.

When I was  little girl around 5 or 6, I broke my arm. I remember trying to climb up a bunk bed and my brother who was on the top bunk took my hands off the ladder. I fell backwards and banged my arm on my dad's drum kit breaking my ulna (forearm bone).

At least that's what I remember, although I know some childhood memories can be mistaken and mis-remembered. Why my younger brother would do that I don't know? Why my dad had his drum kit in our bedroom I don't know?

What I do remember quite clearly though, is going to the hospital to have my arm fixed. There were x-rays taken, plaster and bandages. And most of all the smiling friendly sweet nurse. She was young and kind and nice and I remember at that tender age... wishing I could go home with her instead of my mum.

My mum was there being her usual bossy self, telling me off, quietly under her breath, for this mild slight or that, always so hyper vigilant to any small thing that might embarrass her in public, always maintaining that I be stoic and keep a stiff upper lip. Not wanting me to cry or complain or show any sign of pain. All the while the nurse was friendly and smiling and lovely.

Isn't it interesting, though, to know at that age that I didn't want to go home and live with my family. Instead I wanted this kind nurse to let me go home with her because, in that short amount of time I was with her, she showed me more caring and warmth and thoughtfulness about my feelings, than my mum had shown me in the 5 or 6 years I'd been with her.

1 bedtime routine that doesn't work: here's why...

Visited some friends for a karaoke night. There were drinks and nibbles and laughter and children having fun along with the adults.

The hosts had a little girl there, age 1.5yrs. Come 7pm, she's still up. Come 8pm she's still up.

One of the other parents with children her age asked, "What time does your daughter normally go to bed?" I could tell he was feeling as agitated about it as I was. The mother mumbled some brush off answer and he and I gave each other a look. Later (out of earshot from the mother; didn't want her feeling bad or judged) I told him it's nice to meet another parent who believes children should be in bed early.

For me... I was concerned about the little girl. She was so tired. Her eyes were droopy, she wasn't smiling and having fun, she just looked exhausted. There was far too much going on for her to sleep so she walked around trying to stay mobile and awake.

To my amazement she didn't turn into a hyper child, going all silly the way my children do when they're trying to keep themselves awake. They start jumping and being silly deliberately trying to keep their bodies moving so they don't fall asleep. When it comes time to put them in bed they're so wired they struggle to sleep. Which is exactly the reason I rarely keep my children up late. It's too stressful on them and for us parents.

Finally, at around 11pm the mum says she's going to put her little girl to bed and never returns. I realised that the mother keeps the child up until she (the mother) is ready for bed and they sleep in the same (marital) together. I'm all for co-sleeping. It is wonderful sleeping beside a baby/toddler/child. They grow out of wanting to sleep in the parents bed too quick, nice to cherish it before it ends.

Now, essentially this is working for them as parents in that it's their routine, it's what they do. They keep the little girl up until the mother is ready for bed and the little girl is then put to sleep beside the mother. For whatever reason they've decided this is how they want to operate.

Yet here's a few issues with this scenario.