I have a brother who is angry. He's often losing his temper. Recently we had a conversation after one of his outbursts, that resulted in me saying "No more" to him being in our lives. He accused me of altering my children's perception of him and withholding them (and other family members) from him.
He doesn't realise him flipping a chess game and pieces all over the place because he accidentally spilled some wine, while playing chess with one of my children, had them develop their own perception of him (he's got a temper).
Here's the thing, neither he nor anyone else is entitled to be in my children's lives no matter how much they might like and want a relationship with my children.
I am their protector. People have to earn the right to be in my children's lives and they have to work at holding onto that prestige. It's not a given simply because we are related or that you know me.
It is the same for people who are friends with my partner and I who assume their children should be in my children's lives. They're basically imposing their brats onto us. We do not have to accept that. After the situation of their children being badly behaved; killing creatures, hurting my children and being disrespectful to adults, we went out of way to keep those children away from ours.
Eventually they asked us why and I told them, our children clash, best to keep them separated.
You should be doing this as well. Have people who enter your life prove they are worthy and hold them accountable for actions that show they are not worthy.
Your children are precious and life is precarious enough without letting bad people into your children's lives.
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