A cousin of mine at the checkout offers the clerk some change to make up the balance, then get a full note in return instead of more coins. Good idea. Nothing wrong there. Yet as she's picking the coins from her purse she is apologising profusely for being an inconvenience to the clerk.
Why on earth is she apologising? This is nothing to be sorry about!
NOTE: experts claim that saying sorry all the time denotes a person's belief they are not worthy of being on this earth. I can attest to this. The cousin in question is extremely insecure.
An example of someone saying sorry and not really meaning it would be an abusive partner who hits you, apologises, then does it again. If they were really, truly sorry they wouldn't do it again. What they're really apologising for is their inability to control their temper. Not that they feel so bad they won't do it again. They're saying 'I'm really a shit person who can't control my temper' and that is all their sorry means.
Sorry means you understand the hurt you caused and you feel so bad for doing it that you won't do it again. At all... ever! Sorry doesn't mean you'll do it again because you can't help yourself. That is NOT sorry. That is an excuse. Like saying sorry just because you think you should and not necessarily because you really feel remorse and understand the consequences of your actions.
Sorry means you understand the hurt you caused and you feel so bad for doing it that you won't do it again. At all... ever! Sorry doesn't mean you'll do it again because you can't help yourself. That is NOT sorry. That is an excuse. Like saying sorry just because you think you should and not necessarily because you really feel remorse and understand the consequences of your actions.
Truly sorry in a situation like abuse would mean getting out of a relationship because you can't be in one without hurting somebody and seeking the necessary help to better yourself. That is genuine sorry.
Doing an action over and over again and apologising each time is not sorry.
When my partner and I have disagreements, he'll often tell me I never say sorry. That is because I re-frame it. I will say, I hear what you're saying, I understand how you feel, that it was upsetting and I won't do it again... and I don't do it again.
When my partner and I have disagreements, he'll often tell me I never say sorry. That is because I re-frame it. I will say, I hear what you're saying, I understand how you feel, that it was upsetting and I won't do it again... and I don't do it again.
I'm the same with my children. I called my child an idiot out of anger, said I regret saying it, said I don't really feel that way and won't do it again. And I never did!
To me that is a more genuine apology than just saying the word sorry.
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