My door is always open

I had a boss who said this to me and she was always approachable.  Always with a caring word, kind shoulder.  The type of boss you miss and think of from time to time.

My parenting was in it's early years when I met her and we had the same motto.  I was like this with my first child.   "You can tell me anything".

There have been times I've been confronted by what I'm hearing, still I respond as calmly as possible.  For example one of my children talked about a boy at school who was picked on and how they had joined in.  I had outright said I'm not happy to hear that.  We talked about how it would feel to be on the receiving end of that situation and how important it is to stand up for others who are in need or help.

Another child showed me an inappropriate note a young girl in class had shared.  We discussed her background and what lead to her behavior.

I have one child who is tricky to get to know.  It is hard because they keeps to themselves a lot and it's hard to help people who withdraw.  I have to find new and creative, yet not intrusive, ways to interact with them and find out how they're going.

They dislike my fussing and tell me to stop caring, when unwell and I was checking their temp, making sure they had water, checking to see if they wanted pain relief, or food.  I told my child "It's my job to care".  This is how I explain my role to my children.  It's my job.  My role in their life is to guide, help and be there for them.

I have wanted to lash out at my children from time to time and it's not as though I never loose my temper. I hold back because I want to remain approachable and there for them.

If we react with negativity, anger, disapproval, to our children they will withdraw, let us very little and not let us into their world. I want to be in my children's lives, knowing what they're up to, what is going on for them.  Are they sad, happy, frustrated, lonely? 

It's my job to know these things. Which is why my door is always open.