Birds and bees

Some parents dread the birds and bees talk. It freaks them out so much they can't and don't have that talk with their children.

Trouble with that is their children will turn to their peers to find stuff out and that could be bad, and in most cases is.

Or worse they turn to magazines and pornography. The amount of children and teens viewing pornography these days is growing and is huge compared to how many viewed it years ago. Hoards of children and teens are learning about sex this way and as a parent, seriously, this is NOT how you want your child to learn about the birds and bees.

For a start it's not authentic. It's fake, unrealistic and damaging to the brain. Pornography can lead to addiction. You don't want that!

I know parents who joke and laugh about their child getting a hold of their or their partners phone and accidentally viewing pornography. This isn't funny. It's not a laughing matter. And it's equally disturbing how many people are becoming ok with this. If you do that you're kind of a dick head!

When it comes to the birds and bees, talk to your children matter of factually. Don't make up wishy washy stories about love and happily ever after. Don't use scare tactics and tell them they'll be banished to hell if they even think about premarital sex. Sex is NOT a sin. It is normal part of being human and majority of us do it at some point in our lives. It's how your children came about.

My sex talk with my child went from basic to out there within minutes and I did not shy away from the topic in anyway shape or form. They asked me questions like where does the baby come from, how does it get into the tummy, how does it grow, how does it come out, where does it come out, if sperm and egg make the baby and the man has the sperm and woman has the egg how does the sperm get to the egg. A very switched on child. Most children don't ask that many questions or think as intricately as this one does. Still I answered questions truthfully (and basically) as they came to me. In the end they walked away proclaiming they'll never have sex because it's gross.

When they're a teen and young adult we'll have more conversations about a man and woman's right to say no if they wish, how both parties should be having fun and enjoying the experience, both parties can climax so don't neglect the woman's needs, how women need to feel good in order to have sex while men have sex in order to feel good. And all the rest of those intricacies that is sex as a human being.

I wouldn't rely on sex ed in high school either because the talk they'll get lacks reality as well. It's useful for basics however sex ed is only about penis in vagina equals baby, girls get periods and boys have wet dreams. It lacks the intimacies that go along with sex, it lacks the attachment, the feelings, the hurt and pain if not dealt with correctly, the love and joy people will feel when done well. Above all it does not teach boys they can say no and it does not teach anyone that girls climax too and need to be ready before the guy penetrates. This information should come from the parents.

If you can't handle the birds and bees talk get the book Where Did I Come From and let it tell the story for you. Don't leave it and wait for your teen to stumble across Playboy, where you tell yourself 'viewing porn' is a normal part of a being a boy. It's kind of not and it's only normal because too many parents have become a bit slack about it. Don't be too shy or lazy to tell your children the intricacies of intimacy.