Your bad upbringing

Just because you can have children doesn't mean you should. The fact is not everyone is going to be a good parent.

There are those who can and do escape their bad upbringing and do a better job with their own children. Sadly there are those that don't and it's to those people I suggest you think before you have children and pass on your family legacy.
Usually, though not always, people who have abusive upbringings tend to follow through with the same methods of raising their own children. It's rare for someone who's had an abusive upbringing to decide they won't have children because they know they haven't let the past go and won't make good parents. Instead they have children because they can and make a mess of it. With tragic results.

Kiesha Abrahams comes to mind, along with the many other children who are hurt at the hands of their parents.

Having an abusive upbringing is always a tragedy. Passing that crappy upbringing on to the next generation is beyond tragedy.

One woman I know grew up in an abusive childhood with an alcoholic dad and a mother who coped by doing drugs and drinking along with the dad. The mother had also had an abusive neglectful upbringing herself and married a man she felt she was deserving of (her idea of what she deserved was not very high). Sadly her idea of what her children deserved was also low and they bore the brunt of her choices. Now her daughter is living the same life with an abusive man, raising her children in the same way. Handing down that abuse from generation to generation.

There is more to abuse victims than that. The abuse is usually so damaging they grow up thinking an awful man or woman is all they deserve, that they're damaged and no good person is going to want them. Quite often when they get in a relationship they create the life they think they deserve by triggering their partner and waiting for their partner to explode, which reiterates to them they're an awful person and don't deserve to be happy.

What angers me about this scenario is the children who get caught in the middle, who end up hurt, damaged or dead because of the abuse.

If you've had an abusive upbringing and not sure you can stop yourself from passing that on to the next generation don't have children. Wait until you've come to terms with your past, put it behind you, forgiven, moved on and learned other ways to raise your children that won't harm or damage them.

Don't pass your bad upbringing on to the next generation.