Again in days of old parents would hardly talk to their children let alone take any time to get to know who their children were, and children didn't know their parents either. They'd spend all this time together under the one roof only to grow up not actually knowing each other. How sad.
A story comes to mind from Oprah. She was interviewing the neglectful mother of a boy who had committed suicide at age 13 to escape the severe bullying he was experiencing at school. This young boy was bullied daily, tormented for being baldy dressed, smelly, malnourished and unappealing. Turns out his mother was so neglectful this boy went to school in soiled dirty clothes, smelling of urine if he'd wet the bed the night before, no lunch, unkempt, unshowered.
His mother had let this happen. She hadn't been making sure he had lunch or clean clothes or a shower. She had known the bullying was happening and hadn't cared - certainly not enough to try to help her son. Oprah had cameras go into the woman's house and it was a feral pig sty. Not at all a good environment for children to grow up in. The woman herself was over weight and unkempt. She was a lazy grot who did NOT care about the welfare and well being of herself, her house or her children (yes she had more than one). She would have had her own issues going on, perhaps depression which made her not care about anything, which resulted in the loss of her son.
Bullying is an awful thing for people to experience and it surprises me that not all parents actively defend their children against it. I've met parents who's children are bullying and they don't intervene, they don't call the school or do anything to stop the bullying.
The point I'm making by using bullying as an example is you need to know your children, you need to know what issues they're facing and actively help them through those issues. They may not be bullied, they may have other issues like struggling with sports or maths, struggling to make friends, or having concerns about a family friend who is inappropriate with them. Having a good relationship with your children that allows you to know them is key.
In case you're unsure how to have a good relationship with your children the answer is: talk to them (not at them) and listen to them. Build a rapport with them by having conversations with them. It could be about your passion for mechanics, your beliefs on ghosts, a memory you have of making jam with your grandma. Just general conversations with your children, this opens them up to chat with you and when you've got conversation you've got knowledge and understanding.
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