You don't love me!

Those with more than one child will be aware of the power struggles and differences between their personalities. You'll have the older one who is bossy and likes to help control and discipline the other siblings; you'll have the middle one who feels like they're a no body because the older one is important and the little one(s) is loved more; you'll have the little one who is adored because they're the youngest, cutest and littlest and the last, they're usually uber cheeky and think they're going to get away with everything... (Oh I just described my family dynamic)

Which brings me to my point.  A couple of months ago my middle child told me they feel unloved, that they get in the most trouble, that I let the youngest one get away with murder, and a bunch of other woes. They and I have had a volatile past caused by friction between my partner and I which flowed onto the rest of the family. It took all my self control not to completely downplay and renounce the claims as utterly bogus. Yet I knew if I did that he'd feel worse. I knew I needed to repair our relationship and I needed to do it NOW! So I gave them a hug, told them I'm sorry that they feel that way and set about changing their perception on their position within the family.

How?

I spend time with them, have movie evenings with them, sit and listened to them when they talk (even though for some reason they're a slow talker - takes ages to finish a sentence), I give them random hugs and kisses, I have them make cakes and I assist them instead of the other way around so they feel needed and valued and important, and they learn a new skill. Asking them questions about their day and their thoughts and what they want to be when they grow up.

I compliment and praise them, directly and by saying things to the little sibling like, "Isn't your big sibling smart!" This makes them feel happy and also gives little sibling a good perception of the bigger sibling. High fives for jobs well done - simple things like putting away the dishes without being asked. It is important to notice the details, the good moments.

This has been practiced for some months now and the difference in relationship between my middle child and I has improved a lot.

How you're perceived as a parent will differ from child to child and it's easy to downplay a child's woes as nonsense, it's also easy to be offended and hurt and get defensive when a child tells you, you don't love them. It's harder to try and remedy those woes and turn the situation around, though the results are worth it.