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Wednesday 29 October 2014

Manners... are they still important?

I'd love to know the percentage of parents who still think manners are important and I'd like to think they outnumber those who don't.

One really good thing about Australia is it's multiculturalism and yet... not all nationalities consider manners that important, or perhaps they have different types of manners. I don't mean that as an insult, it's true that different nationalities have different customs, and quite often they're not familiar with customs outside their own. Not that people of other nationalities are the only ones who forget manners. I've heard many a child not use their manners over the years and each time I'm always shocked that their parents don't consider it important or respectful to others.

Those that don't insist their children use manners are mostly unaware that the manners were expected. They're not use to needing them therefore they're ignorant to the fact that quite often manners are called for.

Please, thank you, excuse me, pardon (instead of 'what'), sorry, may I or can I, go a long way to creating decent people and should never be put in the 'too hard basket' or seen as not necessary. EVER!

I've had foster children come and stay will me who know no manners and are using them by the end of the weekend. They're very very simple and easy to teach and children respond well to the gratitude and appreciation they get from using them.

Here is one way to teach manners:
Explain what you expect i.e. "The magic word is please." Then ignore any request that comes your way that doesn't have a magic word attached to it. For e.g. Can I have a cookie? We'll ignore that one. Point to your ear if you can't 'hear' the magic word. If they need a reminder, remind them they need to say please. If they use the word please tell them well done.
Then move on to teaching them thank you, which is easier, because you can simply not let go of what they want until they say it, explaining what you want from them of course. They can't read minds ;)

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