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Monday 27 October 2014

The 5 compliments challenge

What I'm about to say here can change your family dynamic for the better.

Do your children fight with each other all the time? Lots of calling each other bum head or poo face or worse? Is it a case of who had the toy first, who's winning the game they're playing, turning everything into a competition?

Try this challenge.

Give your children 5 compliments a day (5 to each child), to them and in front of their siblings. Complimenting children boosts their self confidence and self esteem - a VERY important job for you as a parent. It also enables you and their siblings to see them in a more positive light. Saying, "Oh look how thoughtful your sibling is, putting their clothes in the wash without being asked," tells the child they're thoughtful, it tells you they're thoughtful, it tells the siblings they're thoughtful and they'll want to aspire to being thoughtful (or their own skill) as well.

Important note here: don't always compliment only one sibling because that is damaging to ALL. You don't want a situation where one child is seen as the favourite-can-do-no-wrong child that the others all have to aspire to be like. The favourite child will be disliked by their siblings and this sets them up to be disliked by siblings as adults. You NEED to spread the love around. There is always good things in each of your children and you need to look for those things and point them out.

Additionally, get your children to compliment their siblings. Say to them, "I want you to give your brother/sister 5 compliments today." At the end of the day ask them what those 5 compliments were.

Have you and your children practice this daily, each and every day and don't stop.

What will end up happening is siblings will see the good in each other and themselves. You'll see the good in your children. They'll see you and each other as encouraging and nice. Let's face it compliments are nice to receive and give so why wouldn't you want this to be how your family operates.

Try it and let me know how you go.

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